Hollywood, STFU.

From Paris With Love: Message Received.

2010-02-06T14:34:00.000-08:00

Movie:	From Paris With Love
Company:	Lionsgate
Released:	2010/02/05
MPAA:	R
Director:	Pierre Morel
Starring:	John Travolta Jonathan Rhys Meyers Kasia Smutniak Richard Durden

        We all know that the peoples of The U.S. and France sometimes look at each other with stereotype and contempt. At their worst, The French see us as aggressive, uncouth bumpkins. At our worst, we see them as snobby, condescending elitists. We all also know that, at times, our respective national interests come into conflict, most recently in The U.S. War on Terror. We Americans responded to France's cold shoulder then by boycotting their wines and by ordering “Freedom Fries”. Since then, our animosities have simmered a bit. France elected a moderate conservative President who actually likes The U.S. And we, unfortunately, elected one who makes France's worst America hater look like a piker.

        So, recognizing that there's been recent rough seas between our two countries, I would also like to recognize that, despite all of our mutual sniping, when push comes to shove, we Americans and The French join hands and lock arms. We have come to France's aid in more than one World War and France was indispensable in helping us win our independence from England. I am reminded daily on my drive to work, as I pass a field where Rochambeau camped his troops, of France's contribution to this country's liberty. I would like to ask you also to remember these things and to urge you, as strongly as I can, do not, because of past animosities, miss the film "From Paris With Love". If you do, you will be missing something important.

        Let me say this, you know that things are really bad when the only pro-American movie in ages was made in France.

        Director Peter Morel of “Transporter” and writer Luc Besson, director of “The Big Blue”, “La Femme Nikita”, “The Messenger”, “The Fifth Element”, “The Professional”, and other films, contribute in making “From Paris with Love”. On the surface the movie looks like and is marketed as an “unlikely buddy” movie which is set in Europe. Jonathan Rhys Meyers plays James Reese, a level headed U.S. Foreign Service employee who works in the embassy by day and for a C.I.A. like organization by night. His big break in the agency comes when he is asked to pick up his new “partner”, Charlie Wax, played by John Travolta. Wax is the stereotypical cocky, rude, American cowboy type of cop. From the moment they meet, Reese looks on with comic horror as Wax goes into Paris, guns a-blazin' non-stop until the job is done.

        Now, normally I would object to this portrayal of Americans and the police. However, Besson and Morel portray Wax like this for a reason. And that reason is that France is at the point where they can no longer ignore the Islamic Fundamentalism which has permeated their entire society. France's own brand of P.C. still refers to “gangs of youths” engaged in vandalism and violence, never once mentioning the common thread between all of these “youths”, radical Islam. These “youths” attend sporting events and boo the French National Anthem and any non-Islamic player. These “youths” torch cars in the street and claim it's a protest against unemployment and French discrimination. Besson attempted to pay off some of these “youths” for "protection" by hiring them as “Security” during the filming of “From Paris With Love”. These "youths" showed their appreciation of that employment by torching ten of the film crew's cars.

        France, in fact all of Europe, is a mess with this same problem which a delusional P.C. faction refuses to allow to be correctly identified. However, despite them, Besson and Morel have made a movie which directly addresses this problem, and it is a movie with a message. The message in "From Paris With Love" is this: yes, Americans can be cocky and uncouth; yes, they can be a bit pompous with their power; but the worst thing they ever brought to France was McDonald's fast food; and that's far more preferable than our current group of drug dealing, anthem booing, car torching “youths” who every once in a while go maniac with a death wish and a suicide belt.

        In short, Besson and Morel “get it”. I'm not sure what political leaning either men are, but when Reese's character goes from asking, “What if it's never over, what if we can't beat these guys?”, to realizing that, no matter how hard you try, some people would rather jump than step back from the edge, their personal leanings do not matter, they “get it”.

        The mainstream critics will aggressively pan this movie. They will go out of their way to tell all who will listen what a truly bad movie this is. They will do so because either the story offends their delicate sensibilities or because they also understand the message which Morel and Besson are conveying.

        I, however, do not pan this move. In fact, as the story faded to black and the credits were about to roll, I shouted out loud for the entire theater to hear, “Luc Besson, You ROCK!” And to leave little doubt that "From Paris With Love" was a message film, as the credits rolled, the first music selection to play was, “Are You With Me?” by Vaux.

        I'd like to respond to that question. Liberté, égalité, fratenité. Je suis avec vous. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Hollywood, STFU Rating:

0 Hammer and Sickles
1 deserved Star of Freedom

Daybreakers: Blood Sucking Capitalists And Other Tired Clichés.

2010-01-20T18:39:00.000-08:00

Movie:	Daybreakers
Company:	Lionsgate
Released:	2010/01/08
MPAA:	R
Directors:	Michael Spierig Peter Spierig
Starring:	Ethan Hawke Willem Dafoe Sam Neill Michael Dorman

        The great thing about horror/action movies, even some of the bad ones, is the escape which they provide. Buy a ticket. Buy some popcorn. Find a seat. Watch zombies get decapitated. Watch vampires get staked. Watch aliens get zapped. Spend a couple of hours of good wholesome fun. At least that's what I was expecting when I went into “Daybreakers”. However, I soon found that there was no break to be had.

        The first movie directed by the Spierig Brothers was a romantic short called “The Big Picture” which was released in 2000. Their second movie was a campy zombie comedy called “Undead” which was released in 2003. Seven years later “Daybreakers” was released. While actually their third effort, it is their first serious full length movie with wide U.S. release and big name star power. The major talents in “Daybreakers”, among a long list of relative unknowns, are Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, and Sam Neill. This must have seemed a pretty ambitious leap for a couple of writing/directing brothers from Germany who sport a resume of a film short, a campy comedy, and a five year gap. Which begs the question, “why were these relative neophytes given a stack of Hollywood cash to burn through?” My guess is that it was their script. Something in that script resonated with the American film industry. My guess, again, is that it was the writers' overwhelming sense of self-loathing and disdain for U.S. power, both of which most commonly come from native European socialists, American Ivy League students, the current elitist leadership in D.C., and Hollywood.

        “Daybreakers” takes place in the year 2019. Almost everyone in the world has been turned into a vampire due to a disease initially spread by a bat. The human population which has not been turned has instead been killed, been harvested, or has gone into hiding. As such, the world is facing a commodity crisis, a shortage in the human blood supply. This serves as ham-fisted allegory to oil as vampires ask, “What do we do when there's ... not a drop left?” This human blood shortage is a big problem because, in the world of “Daybreakers”, a vampire who starves eventually turns into... wait for it... a mindless, deformed, human-bat-vampire! Luckily into this vampire apocalypse of wandering, hungry, and homeless vampires (that's right, homeless vampires), where the newspapers declare that the blood shortage is hitting the Third World the hardest (again, yes), comes a heroic vampire hematologist (Ethan Hawke). This hero is desperately searching for a blood substitute (uh-huh, alternative sources of blood) which would end the crisis. Unfortunately, he works for a stereotypical Hollywood evil corporation headed by a stereotypical Hollywood evil C.E.O. (Sam Neill). And this evil vampire C.E.O. considers any possible blood substitute to be a solution for the great vampire unwashed while real human blood is to be reserved for a “higher market” of private investor elitist vampires, like himself.

        But before the hero, who has sworn off human blood, can find a substitute, he helps a group of humans escape detection and capture. In doing so, the hero runs afoul of the evil vampire authorities including his own vampire brother (Michael Dorman). His brother is a soldier in a stereotypical Hollywood evil American Army. An army which is represented by posters of a vampire Uncle Sam who profers slogans such as, “I Want You... To Capture All Humans”, and “What Do We Do Now?” His brother enjoys both his military career and his vampirism and explains the former while alluding to the latter, “you don't get why I joined, I always felt odd being human.”

        On the run, the hero encounters a human who was a vampire and yet was mysteriously cured (Willem Dafoe). The hero then forgets about a blood substitute and starts working on a cure to vampirism. Meanwhile, back in the city, the deformed human-bat-vampire population is becoming a problem, so they are rounded up by the evil vampire army, placed in good old American slave shackles, and dragged out into the sunlight as a final solution. Eventually the hero finds the cure just as his vampire co-workers back at his lab find a blood substitute. But in the end, the evil vampire corporation rejects the cure in favor of the substitute because, “It's not about a cure, it's about repeat business.”

        Somewhere amid their naive and puerile swipes at Market Capitalism, corporations, C.E.O.s, oil, U.S. power, the military, Uncle Sam, and the U.S. abolition of the European Slave Economy, somewhere in their dervish tirade of A.D.D. and leftist vitriol, the Spierig brothers must have thought that the way to make a vampire movie was to make a movie in which everyone is a vampire. Look, let me be as blunt as “Daybreakers”, the Spierig brothers make their very low opinion of The U.S. and Market Capitalism very clear. Oblige them.

Hollywood, STFU Rating:

5 Hammer and Sickles

Youth In Revolt: Rebel Without A Pair

2010-01-17T13:27:00.000-08:00

Movie:	Youth In Revolt
Company:	Dimension Films
Released:	2009/01/08
MPAA:	R
Director:	Miguel Arteta
Starring:	Michael Cera Portia Doubleday Steve Buscemi Jean Smart Ray Liotta Zach Galifianakis

        The other day a guy I work with sent me an email. Attached to it was a flowchart. It was titled, “How To Make A Michael Cera Movie”. Not surprisingly, despite the sarcasm, it was pretty accurate. Which is really kind of sad. If you're going to make a movie about youth rebellion, you might want to start by tossing out any movie formula.

        However, I don't think that this is a consideration when you cast Michael Cera. Nothing against him personally, but, after “Superbad”, “Juno”, and “Nick & Nora's Infinite Playlist”, it is becoming apparent that he is just another of Hollywood's one trick ponies for this generation's teens. Dress the pony a little differently, change the set and the music, and lead him out for his performance. It works for bit, and then people start doing sarcastic flowcharts.

        In “Youth In Revolt” Michael Cera plays Michael Cera playing Nick Twisp, who is, by formula, a milquetoast. Nick has the right background for a rebellious teen. He comes from a broken home, father (Steve Buscemi) absent, mother (Jean Smart) shacking up with loser boyfriends. When one of these loser boyfriends (Zach Galifianakis) needs to lie low, Nick finds himself on “vacation” in the country. There, by formula, he meets the girl of his dreams, Sheeni Saunders (Portia Doubleday). Sheeni, by formula, is pretty, approachable, intelligent and quirky. She even likes her toast with a little milk. Nick eventually has to go back home but vows that, despite the distance and a rival for Sheeni's affections, he will return to her.

        In order to accomplish this, Nick knows that he has to grow a set. But rather than do that, he invents an alternate personality to carry the set for him. Enter Francois Dillinger, or, more accurately, Michael Cera playing Michael Cera playing Nick Twisp playing Francois Dillinger playing Tyler Durden. Francois is bad where Nick can't be. He burns down his town in order to be sent to live with his father. He convinces Sheeni to pull some strings to get his father a job in Sheeni's town. He trashes Sheeni's enrollment to a private French boarding school. All to be with her, all in the name of love. In the real world this is usually called things like delusional, stalking, and decidedly unattractive.

        However, the real shame in “Youth In Revolt”, beyond the ambiguity of message, is that at no point does hilarity ever ensue. Scene upon scene of Michael Cera as the love sick puppy dog playing at being bad only cement the inescapable truth that this pony only knows one trick. It was kind of funny the first time you saw it. Now it only produces groans.

        With the usual Michael Cera formula comes the expected Hollywood cheap shots and grabbing of comedic low hanging fruit. Sheeni's parents are Hollywood caricatures of Born Again Christians against whom she must rebel, “My parents are religious fanatics, they are exhausting.”. They live in a trailer which has an addition built onto it to show off their affluence and which is filled with religious icons. They call Nick a “heathen” to his face and advise him “check into your soul”. They even cast out Sheeni's new pet dog as “from the devil” when it shreds a bible. The trailer belonging to Nick's mother's boyfriend is also filled with religious icons which border on the ridiculous. This boyfriend is threatened by a group of Hollywood stereotypical angry sailors and replaced by a Hollywood stereotypical lowlife cop. Even the mother's neighbor is a "former activist" who houses illegal aliens. Maybe director Miguel Arteta should look a little closer at his script before using the label, “exhausting”.

        “Youth In Revolt” plays at revolution but delivers more of the same old, same old. So there is no need to march in the street and carry a sign for this revolt. In fact, there is no need to even go to the theater and drop a few bucks.

Hollywood, STFU Rating:

3.5 Hammer and Sickles

Up In The Air: Air Shark Doesn't Do Candygrams

2010-01-13T20:54:00.000-08:00

Movie:	Up In The Air
Company:	Paramount Pictures
Released:	2009/12/23
MPAA:	R
Director:	Jason Reitman
Starring:	George Clooney Vera Farmiga Anna Kendrick Jason Bateman

        There are some tip-offs that a movie will probably contain a large quantity of rant. One is the talent which acted, directed, or produced it. Another is the theme which it covers. Still another is the praise and awards which it receives. So, knowing that “Up In The Air” starred George Clooney, presented itself as “the world according to the frequent business flier”, and had been nominated for six Golden Globes, I entered the theater with some trepidation. Just the same, I did still make an attempt at objectivity, a lot of movies overcome their circumstances. I mean, "whoa", look at “The Matrix”. However, when the movie started with a rendition of Woody Guthrie's “This Land Is Your Land”, I knew that I was in for a treat.

        On the surface “Up In The Air” tells the story of Ryan Bingham (George Clooney), a representative of a corporate benefits management company. Ryan lives in the air. He navigates the travel bureaucracy with practiced ease. He has grown to appreciate the anonymity of casual conversation with passing strangers. He has a preferred membership card to every hotel chain, car rental agency, and airline. He has a secret desire to rack up ten million frequent flier miles. He capitalizes on his corporate travel by booking himself as an inspirational speaker wherever his job sends him. He even meets and starts a convenient relationship with a female frequent business flier counterpart and seeming soul-mate, Alex Goran (Vera Farmiga). His life is a profitable sequence of comfortable routines. Until the day when he is grounded.

        The company which Ryan works for, at the suggestion of young blood and upstart, Natalie Keener (Anna Kendrick), is getting wired. All of the work which allowed Ryan his jet-set lifestyle would soon be done remotely, from the home office, via video conferencing, by hourly employees. Ryan immediately understands that this means that he will soon be out of a job. And this situation is supposed to provide the main point of irony in “Up In The Air” since Ryan's job is informing people that they're being laid off and his company is handling the separation benefit package.

        Ryan won't go down without a fight though. In an attempt to dispirit and discredit Natalie, Ryan convinces the company to send them both across the country and in the field so that she might better understand, and be overwhelmed by, what she is automating. On the trip Ryan reconciles himself to the inevitability, irony, and karma of the change his company will take. He repairs the relationship with his estranged family. He finds closure in his relationship with Alex. He makes himself ready to take his clipped wings and settle down.

        Then one of the people who Ryan and Natalie laid off commits suicide. The company scraps Natalie's plan and sends Ryan back to field work. However, Ryan's victory is bittersweet. He has changed, matured, and now even achieving his goal of being the seventh person to ever reach ten million sky miles rings hollow. Roll credits.

        Under the surface, however, is where the real story lies. And Jason Reitman tells that story artfully and subtly, portraying the American individual spirit as a folk tale which no one believes any longer. “Up In The Air” presents us with one shot after another of American faces in disbelief, fear, anger, and tears as they learn that they are losing their jobs. They worry over their future. They worry over their healthcare. They shrivel, crumpled and devastated, at the news brought to them by the outsourced representative of a cold, evil company. A company which their own spineless, uncaring company hired in an act of shameless cowardice. Ryan is portrayed as villain and corporate tool who self-identifies in his inspirational speeches as a philosophically proud, misanthropic, self-directed shark. Self-sufficient and self-aware he reaps the substantial rewards afforded to such evil capitalist henchmen. To the sobbing mob he leaves in his wake, his reminders of the opportunity that another door opens as the one to their office closes is just another line from the script of the lying folk tale, delivered almost believably by faithful USA corporate tool, Ryan Bingham.

        And as Jason Reitman trashes what he considers to be the big inhuman lie of the independent American individual, he spins a lie of his own. The economic destruction brought about by the Anti-Capitalist policies which he subtly champions are, as expected, never sited as the correct cause for the outsourcing and malaise which result in corporate downsizing in the first place. He instead props up his own versions of an impotent Everyman to ask naive and outrageous questions of “The American Dream” like “Where is the house we were promised?”. He instead closes his film with his inhuman corporate lap-shark standing before an airport departure board pondering where he will next reap his destruction and if his conscious will still allow him to do so.

        “Up In The Air” flies gently up in your grill with its cleverly biased tale of economic woe. But even Left and Right can agree that the economy is sour without needing to agree on the cause. And with that point being agreed upon, let “Up In The Air” keep its nominations, and you keep your money. Who knows, you might have a selfish dream which you want to pursue.

Hollywood, STFU Rating:

4 Hammer and Sickles

The Princess And The Frog: Laissez Les PC Temps Rouler!

2010-01-09T15:16:00.000-08:00

Movie:	The Princess And The Frog
Company:	Walt Disney Animation Studios
Released:	2009/12/11
MPAA:	G
Directors:	Ron Clements John Musker
Featuring:	Anika Noni Rose Bruno Campos Keith David Michael Leon-Wooley Jim Cummings Jennifer Cody

        With Gumbo and Tabasco, Jazz and Zydeco, Mardi Gras and Voodoo, Disney's new animated adaptation of the Brother's Grimm classic, “The Frog Prince”, comes to the screen. Set in the New Orleans of Huey Long's Louisiana, “The Princess and The Frog” is the first hand-drawn, full-length feature from Disney in over five years. However, the retro art and the vibrant culture fail to breathe life back into a story which the Disney studio itself smothered with its PC navel gazing. In fact, the studio's obsession with not offending the perpetually offended PC police seems to have trumped other considerations. The vibrant culture of New Orleans was reduced to a cliché of trimming and trappings which served only to carry the story. The impressiveness of the hand-drawn art was reduced to moments of glitter and flash. And, in the end, the PC police were still offended and so should be some of the intended audience.

        Anika Noni Rose voices for Tiana a poor woman living in pre-depression New Orleans and brought up with her father's optimism, work ethic, and dream of owning a restaurant. Tiana is the first Disney Princess of African descent. I point this out because there are many to whom this was an issue of importance. So much so that more attention was given to Tiana's race than to her more important qualities of hard word, focus, determination, thrift, and pluck. So much so that one movie reviewer actually stated that he felt racially cheated that Tiana spent much of the movie as a green frog rather than as a black person. So much so that another movie reviewer actually complained that Prince Naveen, voiced by Bruno Campos, appeared Brazilian and not African. So much so that the Disney Studios actually changed the name of the project from its original adaptation of the Grimm, “The Frog Princess”, for fear that the PC police might accuse them of implying that Tiana was an ugly frog. I'm serious.

        What made all of this ridiculous posturing even more so is the fact that American audiences love Disney Princess and Princes regardless of what “race” they are drawn as. Americans loved the Native American Disney Princess, Pocahontas. Americans loved the Arabian Disney Princess, Jasmine. Americans loved the Polynesian female lead, Lilo. Despite all this, Disney still bought into The Left's constant and offensive narrative of “Racist America” and changed the name of the movie.

        I suspect that Disney even went a couple of steps further than this name change to inoculate themselves from PC criticism. Conspicuously missing from the movie is a single “white” character with a redeeming feature. There was a group of vicious, buffoonish, toothless, gun-toting swamp rats. There was an effete, power craving toady and back stabber. There was a pair of racist, condescending, and paternalistic property owning business men who could only be reasoned with through threats of grievous violence. There was a trifling, gold digging, bimbo beauty queen. Finally, there was a pampered, corpulent, and corrupt boss politician. So, Disney, let me ask, were there no admirable working class or poor white people in pre-depression New Orleans? Were there none who would have been Tiana's friend? Were there none who disagreed with the racial injustice of the time? In Huey Long's Louisiana? Where the influence of The Klan was a heavily debated election issue? Really? OK.

        And to make all of these matters worse, “The Princess and The Frog” also suffers from the appearance of cynical market timing. However, it was in the works since at least the beginning of 2007, way before the ascension of “The One”. Unfortunately its release during the grotesque fawning over the “every breath is historic” Obama administration, makes it appear to be just another media feature on the propaganda bandwagon. With Disney so concerned over PC, they might have actually considered the current administration a bump for the movie. I would argue the opposite, it didn't need this apparent baggage too. Hey, at least it doesn't have Jiminy Cricket whistling “When you Hope and Change Upon a Star”.

        Consider that all of this baggage comes in a movie which features a heroine who champions self-reliance and a villain who foments class hatred against the “Fat Cats” and who advocates the easy but obviously wrong path. These characters and their qualities, who and which would have made a great movie, are lost amongst the trappings, the cliches, and the baggage. Tiana deserved better.

        So, see “The Princess and The Frog” if you are inclined, but expect to be underwhelmed and maybe even a little offended. And as a bit of advice, a little cooking tip for Disney, if you put navel lint in your gumbo, no matter how good the rest of its ingredients are, don't be surprised when your guests politely decline to eat it.

Hollywood, STFU Rating:

3.5 Hammer and Sickles

Nine: Make it a double feature.

2010-01-03T16:31:00.000-08:00

Movie:	Nine
Company:	The Weinstein Company
Released:	2009/12/25
MPAA:	PG-13
Director:	Rob Marshall
Starring:	Daniel Day Lewis Judi Dench Marion Cotillard Penelope Cruz Sophia Loren Kate Hudson Nicole Kidman Stacy Ferguson

        To date I have seen three films by the late Italian director, Federico Fellini. Those films are “Amacord”, “Satyricon”, and “8½”. A modern retelling of “8½”, and tribute to Fellini, was brought to the musical stage as the Broadway production, “Nine”. The movie “Nine” is the screen version of this Broadway Musical. So, if you're planning to see “Nine”, then I highly recommend that you see “8½” first. Now I know that, to some, this is a pretty tall order, kind of like a movie with a homework assignment, especially considering that “8½” is a subtitled art film. However, I don't think that you can truly appreciate “Nine” without recognizing the thought which went into it. Or better stated as a musical analogy, you can't recognize the art in the variation without first knowing the original theme. But if you do take the time to see “8½” first, unless you are a complete Fellini purist, you're likely to find yourself much more impressed than you otherwise would have been when you see “Nine”. Plus, and this can't be overstated, you will have seen “8½”.

        Director Rob Marshall, as he did with “Chicago”, brings “Nine” to the screen. In doing so, he shows us that some big name actors and actresses actually have a set of pipes. Daniel Day Lewis plays Guido Contini, famous Italian film director whose creative well has run dry. His new film, “Italia”, is to start production and he is overcome with panic because he does not yet have a script. As the deadline approaches the demands from himself, his crew, his producer, and the women in his life become more immediate, and he retreats more into his own head, away from his work, and into comfort of those women, whom he relates to almost solely as archetypes. Marion Cotillard plays Luisa Contini, his wife who can accept her husband's artistic nature as long as she doesn't have to confront his infidelities. Cotillard is almost a shocking dead ringer for Anouk Aimée who played in the original role. Penelope Cruz plays Carla, Guido's steady mistress and yin to Louisa's yang. Sofia Loren, who incidentally appeared in none of Fellini's films, plays Guido's overbearing, yet still dead, mother. Judi Dench plays Lilli, the costumer, wardrobe mistress, and sexually safe, aged confidant for Guido's productions. Nicole Kidman plays Claudia, Guido's preferred leading lady who is uncomfortable with the role and responsibility of being his muse. Kate Hudson plays Stephanie, American journalist and hopeful Guido groupie. Finally, Stacy Ferguson plays Saraghina, a feral prostitute from Guido's youth who lived on the beach and who was Guido's first exposure to woman as both taboo and desirable sexual being.

        The things which “Nine” brings to the table of “8½” are a happier ending and song. While most of the songs are standard Broadway fare, a few are standouts, most notably Fergie/Saraghina's “Be Italian”, Hudson/Stephanie's “Cinema Italiano”, and Cotillard/Louisa's “Take It All”. Additionally Dench/Lilli's “Folies Bergere” and Loren/Mamma's “Guarda La Luna” are worth seeing just for the talent which carries these songs.

        I, myself, am not a huge fan of musicals, and I only go to Broadway if my wife drags me. However, I am a fan of the film which “Nine” pays tribute to, although I'm not a purist about it. So I liked "Nine", even though I know that both it and “8½” are not for everyone and even though I think that it is incomplete without “8½”. All of which being said, “Nine” was completely free of any of the usual, annoying Hollywood Marxist message. Bravo!

Hollywood, STFU Rating:

0 Hammer and Sickles

It's Complicated: Maybe so, but you still cleared the bar.

2010-01-02T13:39:00.004-08:00

Movie:	It's Complicated
Company:	Universal Pictures
Released:	2009/12/25
MPAA:	R
Director:	Nancy Meyers
Starring:	Meryl Streep Alec Baldwin Steve Martin John Krasinski Lake Bell

        I enjoy a good romantic comedy, however my bar for “good” in that genre is set pretty high. Despite that, writer/director Nancy Myers clears this bar with “It's Complicated”. In it she continues to explore the theme of “courting in the older set” which made her previous film, “Something's Gotta Give”, a success.

        Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin play Jane and Jake. They've been divorced for ten years. Their relationship is polite, but distant. Jake is remarried to Agness, played by Lake Bell, the much younger woman for whom he left Jane. At the wedding of one of Jane and Jake's three children, the two find themselves unknowingly booked at the same hotel. The night before Jane is to head home, she runs into Jake, alone, at the hotel restaurant. Agness had to leave earlier when her spoiled brat of a son, who incidentally is not Jake's son, got sick. Jane and Jake agree to have dinner together instead of sitting at separate tables. They eat. They drink. They reminisce. They drink. They laugh. They have a little too much to drink and the former wife finds herself the current “other woman”.

        As the affair begins, Jane finds herself aggressively pursued by Jake, who thinks he's falling back in love with her, and timidly pursued by “nice guy” architect, Adam, played by Steve Martin. Martin plays a fairly straight, if not slightly depressed, role. Baldwin plays the well intentioned incorrigible who unfortunately can't help but make poor decisions. Jane, who realizes that she might have pushed Jake away in the first place plays the older woman with a choice between two suitors. Make no mistake, women are going to love this movie. Men will get more than a few good laughs out of it too. Maybe even at what might be becoming Ms. Meyer's trademark, a comic nude shot of the leading man's butt. Sorry, but as in “Something's Gotta Give”, it was funny.

        There was surprisingly little message in “It's Complicated”, which was appreciated. Although, I wouldn't argue if some saw a legalization agenda in the few scenes with a lax attitude toward pot. However, the one thing with which I did take exception was a graduation scene of one of Jane and Jake's kids. I can't stand when a movie tries to slip one by you, almost subliminally. A poster on a wall, a slogan on a t-shirt, a sticker on a locker, or in this case a seating row marker at a graduation. It was momentary, and most people would miss it. However, I understand that unless the director is a complete hack, which, clearly, Nancy Meyers is not, the shot of a frame is meticulously composed. Nothing is in the frame which is not intended to be there. So when I see a shot of a college graduation where the students are seated by degree, and each seating section is labeled by a sign, and the sign for “Liberal Arts” is partially masked so that only the word “Liberal” can be read, I know that it's not by accident. However, my only real beef was that “Liberal” should have read “Marxist”.

        Guys, I know sometimes it's tough going to the movies as a couple. You really want to see the latest action flick, but occasionally you have to give in and see a chick flick. So if you have to anyway, might as well make it a movie which you'll both enjoy. Bite the bullet and see “It's Complicated”.

Hollywood, STFU Rating:

1 Hammer and Sickle

Did You Hear About The Morgans?: Yeah, on Failblog.

2009-12-30T15:11:00.000-08:00

Movie:	Did You Hear About The Morgans?
Company:	Columbia Pictures
Released:	2009/12/18
MPAA:	PG-13
Director:	Marc Lawrence
Starring:	Hugh Grant Sarah Jessica Parker Sam Elliot Mary Steenburgen Wilford Brimley

        Did you hear about “Did You Hear About The Morgans?”? I'll bet if you haven't that you soon will. Let me see if I can sum it up for you in two words, "monumentally bad". Wait, let me see if I can sum it up for you in one word, "Ishtar". Columbia Pictures and Director Marc Lawrence offer up the romantic comedy, “Did You Hear About The Morgans?”, which promises to be the kind of bad which continues being discussed years after its DVD copies have been moved from the discount bin to the ash bin. We're talking epic fail here. We're talking there were people in the audience, other than me, laughing AT the movie. Every plot device was transparent. Every joke fell flat. It was an absolute train wreck. As my good deed for the day I recommended that a couple waiting for the next showing see another movie. I'm serious.

        Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker play Paul and Meryl Morgan, a narcissistic, upper west side Manhattan, power couple. They run their own companies. They have their own doting assistants. He's a corporate attorney. She's a real estate agent who hosts charity fundraisers and appears on the cover of The New Yorker. Yada, yada, yada. They are separated. They try to make up. They witness a murder. They are witnessed witnessing the murder. They witness the witnessing of their witnessing. See where I'm going here? They are taken into protective custody. They are relocated to Wyoming until the murderer is caught and brought to trial. They must suffer the indignities of a latte-less life amongst the hicks while their corporate assistants try to cover for their absence. It's hard for me to say if the formula or the pretension was worse.

        Sam Elliot and Mary Steenburgen play Clay and Emma Wheeler, a Wyoming small town couple who host the Morgans at their safe-house. Director Marc Lawrence tries to portray the Wheelers as down-to-earth folksy and uncouth gun-nut bumpkins at the same time and fails at both. He succeeds only in displaying the same tired stereotypes which Hollywood and Manhattan hold of the people who live in “flyover country”. Every wall of every building in Wyoming has at least one trophy head mounted on it. The Wheeler's refrigerator is overfilled with locally butchered game meat. Meryl Morgan first sees Emma Wheeler inspecting a bolt-action rifle at a store counter and comments, “My God, it's Sarah Palin”. Meryl Morgan asks a diner proprietor, played by Wilford Brimley, not to smoke in his own establishment. Brimley's character snarks back, “Next thing you'll be telling us you're Democrats”.

        There is good in everything though, and so it is with “Did You Hear About The Morgans?”. In this time of economic malaise, go see it if you have the time. You might find it that much easier to convince yourself, “It can only get better from here”.

Hollywood, STFU Rating:

3 Hammer and Sickles

The Road: Are we there yet?

2009-12-28T22:50:00.000-08:00

Movie:	The Road
Company:	Dimension Films
Released:	2009/11/25
MPAA:	R
Director:	John Hillcoat
Starring:	Viggo Mortensen Kodi Smit-McPhee Charlize Theron Robert Duvall

        I remember The 80's. The Cold War was coming to a head. The Soviet Union saber-rattled and postured (in between swearing in new heads of state). America, helmed by a capable and unapologetic leader, was finding her feet after a season of malaise. The United Kingdom, itself helmed by 'The Iron Lady', stood a fast ally by our side. And the American and Worldwide Left, as usual, sniped at our heels with any undermining tactic which they could muster. The most memorable of these was the Post-Nuclear-War-Apocalypse movie. This Hollywood classic was The Left's attempt to convince the collective conscience of the American people to just give up and let The Soviets have their way, because “That Cowboy in The White House is gonna blow up the world!”. The barrage of this message was so constant that the genre was soon over-done and eventually became a parody of itself. Yet, despite missing the market timing sweet spot by about twenty-five years, Hollywood now offers us up, “The Road”.

        “The Road” is based on a 2006 novel by Cormac McCarthy. McCarthy, who also lived through The Cold War, spins a bleak tale of a father trying to keep his son alive in a Post-Nuclear-War-Apocalypse. His wife is dead. The plants are dead. The animals are dead. The insects are dead. The food is gone. Humanity devolves into savagery and cannibalism. Packs of men scour the woods to scavenge and possibly take as a prisoner their next meal. “The Road” is an example of the Post-Nuclear-War-Apocalypse movie at its dreariest.

        Remembering The 80's, and having seen my share of this brand of Leftist theater, I found myself asking a lot of questions. Viggo Mortensen plays the unnamed father, Charlize Theron plays the unnamed mother. The nuclear war comes, and soon afterward the mother gives birth to a son, played by Kodi Smit-McPhee. Father, mother, and son live for the next ten years or so, in the same house, having no problems with food, water, radiation, or roving bands of savage cannibals. Until one day the mother decides to commit suicide and walks into the cold night without a jacket. She figured pulling a Captain Oates would not waste one of the cliché two remaining bullets left in the father's pistol. Her last words to the father is a plea to take their son south because he would not survive another winter where they lived.

        This confused me because after ten years of living in the same place I would think that they had the whole “living in a Post-Nuclear-War-Apocalypse” thing figured out. But that wasn't how the story went and the father takes his son from their ten year safehouse to wander amongst the cannibals. And best yet, rather than stick to the woods for safety, they spend most of their time walking on “The Road” in plain sight. Obviously, the last place a roving band of cannibals would look.

        At some point I started thinking about the extinction of all of the animals and that's when the story's whole premise really started to unravel for me. The movie plainly states that the apocalypse was preceded by flashes of light and percussive explosions. Sounds like a nuclear war to me. However, in “The Road”, humans survived the radiation but rats, mice, ants, cockroaches, and houseflies did not. I was left wondering if Cormac McCarthy was more intent on channeling Rachel Carson's paranoia than adhering to basic biology. I would think that in a world where everything weaker than humans succumbed to radiation that the real danger would be roving packs of starving rats, not humans. But, again, that wasn't how the story went. So father and son walk on, immune to the radiation, and even have no problem popping open and chowing down whatever radioactive canned goods they might find.

        However, the real downfall of “The Road” is that it is too slow and too long. Only a welcome, well acted, and too short cameo by Robert Duvall briefly interrupted me as I continually checked my watch and thought to myself, “Yes! We get it!”.

        Rather than making a statement on the horrors of war, “The Road” is instead a modern release in a vintage style which hopes for a comeback and fails. Cormac McCarthy might have done better to stick with the current themes which The Left is using to scare their way into power, like “Global Warming”.

Hollywood, STFU Rating:

3 Hammer and Sickles

Sherlock Holmes: When you remove all of the agenda, whatever remains must be a great movie.

2009-12-27T09:28:00.000-08:00

Movie:	Sherlock Holmes
Company:	Warner Brothers
Released:	2009/12/25
MPAA:	PG-13
Director:	Guy Ritchie
Starring:	Robert Downey Jr. Jude Law Rachel McAdams Mark Strong Eddie Marsan

        I have never read a Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherlock Holmes mystery. However, like most Americans, I am familiar with the character of Holmes. I am even familiar with some of the trivia surrounding the character, such as Sir Arthur Conan Doyle aimed to be a writer of “serious literature” and begrudged the success of and demand for the cash-cow pulp of his Holmes' mysteries. I know that Doyle tried to kill Holmes off just to be rid of him. However, his readers protested and demanded Holmes' return. I also know that Doyle, in an attempt to lose readership and popularity, made Holmes progressively more and more of a degenerate, even turning him into a casual opium user and a cocaine addict. Again, unfortunately, these failings just added to Holmes' popularity. And while today's Holmes purist will undoubtedly object to the big budget Hollywood treatment of Doyle's stories, Guy Ritchie's “Sherlock Holmes” struck me as a very faithful modern retelling.

        Robert Downey Jr. plays a Sherlock Holmes who is dirty, obsessed, self-destructive, out of touch, rude, and brilliant. Jude Law plays a Dr. John Watson who is grounded, loyal, and about to settle down, but who can't let go of life on the edge provided by Holmes and the seamy underside of Victorian England just yet. Rachel McAdams plays Miss Irene Adler, Holmes' compromised femme fatale and knowing Achilles heel. Mark Strong plays Lord Blackwood, a power mad politician and mystic, newly risen from the dead, and bent on a coup d'etat plan worthy of Guy Fawkes. All of these characters play against a backdrop of Victorian England at its absolute filthiest; mud in the streets, soot on the buildings, dirty water in the Thames. Ritchie's “Sherlock Holmes” adds a layer of grit, sweat, and grime to replace the refined image of Holmes with a smoking jacket, pipe, and brandy.

        Part big budget Hollywood Action/Adventure, part Victorian Period Piece, part Buddy Movie, there is one thing which “Sherlock Holmes” is not, a screed. The absence of any “message” beyond the story stood out to me as more memorable than even the fantastic interplay between Downey and Law as Holmes and Watson. While some might argue that the pervasive atmosphere of decay and filth portrayed in “Sherlock Holmes” might be a negative statement on industrialization, I would argue back that “The Good Old Days” had manure in the streets.

        “Sherlock Holmes” is a holiday release. So for the holidays, give yourself a present: forget “Avatar” and go see “Sherlock Holmes”, twice. That's what I'll be doing.

Hollywood, STFU Rating:

0 Hammer and Sickles

Avatar: We see you.

2009-12-20T19:29:00.000-08:00

Movie:	Avatar
Company:	Twentieth Century-Fox Film Corporation
Released:	2009/12/18
MPAA:	PG-13
Director:	James Cameron
Starring:	Sam Worthington Zoe Saldana Sigourney Weaver Stephen Lang Michelle Rodriguez Giovanni Ribisi

        All I can say is, “WOW”.

        “Avatar” is a 3-D feast for the eye which should propel James Cameron to the status of legend. In fact, after a decade or two of perspective, I fully expect that this groundbreaking work will be studied in the best film schools, right about the time they are covering Riefenstahl.

        Seldom has a film been made which combines cutting edge technology, the highest standards of quality, and a deep, self-indulgent loathing of all things which The Left despises about America. I honestly don't remember the last time I found myself booing and hissing at a film as the end credits started rolling.

        Here's “Avatar” in a nutshell. America is an evil place which: will not provide healthcare, even for its vets injured in combat; picks fights wherever it's profitable, even in Chavez's socialist utopia of Venezuela; has a bloodthirsty merc military which, at the beck of evil corporations, commits business-as-usual horrific atrocities while screaming “Git Sum!”; has no respect for any environment as they “kill their mother”; will take whatever they want whenever they want from whomever they want by any means necessary, the weaker the victim, the better. Let me be clear, this is one deeply hateful and offensive movie. It also happens to be great, which is why I mentioned Riefenstahl. Good job, and congrats, Jim.

        If you go to see “Avatar,” be prepared to be amazed, and be prepared to be bombarded with all of the hate and bigotry which Hollywood has to offer. I, for one, will not be seeing this film a second time.

        And as an aside to the America hating elite which made this movie and especially to those who currently hold the reigns of Her power and agree with this movie's point of view, I have included some suggestions which you will just ignore. Consider, as you continue to push for the "Unobtainium" of your socialist utopia, that you have become what you despise, forcing your will on a people frightened by your self-loathing and abuses of power, a people which you hold in contempt as they scream to just be left alone. Consider, as the world of “Avatar” would say, and as the film “Avatar” has made very clear... we see you.

Hollywood, STFU Rating:

5 Hammer and Sickles

Planet 51: Make mine The 80's

2009-12-19T20:29:00.000-08:00

Movie:	Planet 51
Company:	Ilion Animation
Released:	2009/11/20
MPAA:	PG
Directors:	Jorge Blanco Javier Abad Marcos Martínez
Featuring:	Dwayne Johnson Jessica Biel Justin Long Gary Oldman Seann William Scott John Cleese

        It's a perfect little world living in the 1950's. It's got Lover's Lane, The Malt Shop, and Rock & Roll. It's even got 'B' Movies and comic books which feature horrific invading aliens from outer space. However, this idyllic world, Planet 51, is inhabited by humanoid, yet non-human, little green men complete with antennae. In an allegory to our own 'Red Scare', the inhabitants of this world are obsessed with imaginary and violent, one-eyed invaders, the Humaniacs, which are a natural product of their own xenophobia. Unfortunately for Charles T. Baker, astronaut and actual human, a faulty probe showed Planet 51 to be uninhabited and uninviting. The probe was half right.

        Dwayne Johnson voices for Charles T. “Chuck” Baker, an American who lands on the planet and is immediately separated from his ship. Justin Long voices for Lem, a teenage inhabitant who reluctantly helps Baker back to his ship before its orbiting command module returns to Earth without him. Lem is helped by his conspiracy obsessed friend, Skiff (Seann William Scott), his love interest, Neera (Jessica Beil), a hippie rival for Neera's affections, Glar (Alan Marriott), and the errant space probe, Rover. Standing in their way are the military led by General Grawl (Gary Oldman), Professor Kipple (John Cleese), and Planet 51's xenophobic society all of whom believe that any contact with a Humaniac will turn you into a mind controlled zombie.

        The animation is very well done and the movie is filled with inside jokes to keep the sci-fi savvy parent amused. Star Trek's Captain Kirk and Chuck share the same accentuated, yet unexplained, middle initial. A pet resembling Giger's alien from the Alien movie franchise urinates acid onto lampposts and is named Ripley. During a chase scene, Chuck and Lem are propelled through the air and past the moon, a la “E.T.”. In addition to the “Plan 9 From Outer Space” mind controlled zombie theme, Planet 51 has a secret military base named “Area 9”. Even Lem's name is a probable nod to the name of NASA's Apollo Lunar Lander.

        However, along with the amusing winks and nods comes the usual Hollywood message and stereotypes. Chuck, as a typical stupid imperialist American, leaves his lander and is oblivious to the fact that he is in an inhabited neighborhood as he plants Old Glory and claims Planet 51 for the good old USA. Lem must choose to turn in or help Chuck and in doing so throw in with the blond haired, square jawed, righteously indignant, fascistic military leader, General Grawl or the peace loving, guitar playing, enlightened (despite his drug induced stupor) hippie, Glar. Grawl and Kipple accuse people at random of being zombies, the buffoonish and unquestioning regular soldiers arrest the accused, and Kipple removes their brains for study. In a puerile swipe at "The Rich", once the brains of the accused are removed, the accused suddenly become ridiculously refined, eloquent, and effete. Glar outs with banalities like “The times they are a-different”, almost gets the girl despite his hippie funk, and teaches Planet 51 teens “a new thing called protesting”. And then there's the scene which shows the depths of Hollywood's bigotry toward the military. A search squad, which is about to locate Lem and Chuck, is distracted by Glar singing a protest song as a diversion. The soldiers in the squad knowingly and maliciously smile as they pull out their nightsticks and descend upon Glar to give him the beat-down of his animated life.

        With its cynical send-up of suburban life, loathing of the military, soundtrack selections like, “Stick It To The Man”, protesting alien teens chanting, “We're really upset!”, and Chuck's farewell of “Call me when you get to the 60's”, this movie might have better stayed on ice in a secret underground facility.

Hollywood, STFU Rating:

3.5 Hammer and Sickles

Old Dogs: Bad dog! Bad!

2009-12-17T17:47:00.000-08:00

Movie:	Old Dogs
Company:	Tapestry Films
Released:	2009/11/25
MPAA:	PG
Director:	Walt Becker
Starring:	John Travolta Robin Williams Kelly Preston Seth Green Matt Dillon Bernie Mac

        “Old Dogs” offers up an impressive slate of proven talent: John Travolta, Robin Williams, Seth Green, Matt Dillon, and Bernie Mac. Unfortunately, the behind the scenes talents of writing, directing, and editing just did not deliver. I know with a Disney family offering that there is going to be some simplification of themes and humor for the benefit a younger audience. However, this is no reason for a story which at times approaches maudlin. Nor is it an explanation for amateurish gags or inconsistent focus. Nor is it an excuse for not developing any of these actors to their full potential. And while it was nice to see Bernie Mac in his last roll, it was disappointing to see that he wasn't his usual funny, intense, edgy self. After thoroughly enjoying “Wild Hogs”, I expected a bit more of Walt Becker. Maybe the studio torpedoed the project. It certainly felt rushed.

        The story of "Old Dogs" is fairly stock. Robin Williams is Dan, a successful businessman about to land a major deal when he discovers that he's the father of two kids, fraternal twins, seven years old. The kids end up in his care for two weeks during which he has to learn how to be a dad. John Travolta is Charlie, Dan's business partner who takes up the “goofy uncle” role. Dan, after too long of a story arch, messes up the business deal, his relationship with his kids, and his friendship with Charlie. He then has to rush before the end credits to set things right.

        True to form of a movie with apparent deficiencies like these, “Old Dogs” slips in some unwelcome message. Kelley Preston is Vicki, Dan's old girlfriend who shows up with kids in tow. She leaves them with Dan because she has to do a two week bid in county prison about which the kids are unaware. Wait, Mom going to county prison in a family film? Well, yes, for a good cause. It seems that she chained herself to a bulldozer to stop the construction of an evil corporation which, naturally, was going to dump toxic waste in the stream next to where the kids play. But wait, there's more. Matt Dillon is Barry, the Hollywood stereotype of the homophobic, gun nut, scout leader. He waxes fascistic about being “a patriot” and he imparts his wisdom that guns are the path to “a chest full of merit badges”. That's right, kids, “Patriotism, scouting, guns, and corporations... bad. Chaining yourself to a bulldozer... good”. I did find it interesting, however, that the word “patriot” was used in Matt Dillon's/Barry's rant. My guess is that the Tea Party Movement is under someone's skin in old Hollywoodland.

        Apart from the bad marks which “Old Dogs” earns for it's typical Hollywood treatment of Left and Right, it's just not a very good movie. For a time better spent with your kids, take them and your old dog to the park.

Hollywood, STFU Rating:

2.5 Hammer and Sickles

The Blind Side: Blindsided

2009-12-15T20:00:00.000-08:00

Movie:	The Blind Side
Company:	Alcon Entertainment
Released:	2009/11/20
MPAA:	PG-13
Director:	John Lee Hancock
Starring:	Sandra Bullock Tim McGraw Quinton Aaron

        I really did not want to see this movie. I knew that my wife had been wanting to see it for a while. However, I also knew that it told the story of a white southern family who takes in a disadvantaged black kid. So, naturally, I was expecting yet another Hollywood lecture full of blame, guilt, and loathing about race and class in America. I could not have been more wrong.

        Now, don't misunderstand me, it did tell a story with the old familiar themes of division; rich and poor, black and white, enlightened and ignorant. It even told its story, at times, with just as familiar alternating rose and mud tinted glasses. However, this story was different in that it was real, and I don't mean that it was based on real people and events, although it was that too. I mean that it portrayed people and situations much as they really are, beyond those convenient and tiresome divisions. It is a story of real life and real people, with strengths and faults, fears and courage, pettiness and goodwill.

        Quinton Aaron as Michael Oher is a disadvantaged teen abandoned by the people in the world he knows and taken in by people in a world completely foreign to him. His alienation is both palpable and accessible. Sandra Bullock as Leigh Ann Tuohy is a mother who sees a lost kid and who steps up, each time the need arises, to give him what he needs most, a family. Her motivations are just as human and understandable.

        Imagine my confusion to see a Hollywood movie make an attempt at portraying people, not stereotypes. Family portrayed as affirming, not as dysfunctional. Christians portrayed as compassionate, not as bigoted buffoons. The wealthy portrayed as caught up in their own too busy lives, not as greedy, predatory elitists. NRA members portrayed as responsible citizens concerned with protecting their families, not as rabid gun nuts. Even the occasional moron (no group excluded) who makes a bigoted remark portrayed as flawed or mistaken or unthinking or ignorant, not as an evil, irredeemable degenerate. Heck, even the obligatory Hollywood swipe at G.W.B. was made by a harried, buck-passing bureaucrat when asked who ran their inefficient office.

        On the surface “The Blind Side” tells the story of Michael Oher and his rocky path to make All-American and the NFL. However it is really a vehicle for the restatement of some simple and powerful truths such as, “People are people”, "Charity begins at home", and “Family is where you find it”. It is a surprising and welcome recognition that America and her people are a heck of a lot better than Hollywood often portrays them to be.

Hollywood, STFU Rating:

0.5 Hammer and Sickles

Julie & Julia: Then Beat In a Rack of Skewered Republican...

2009-12-13T10:02:00.000-08:00

Movie:	Julie & Julia
Company:	Columbia Pictures
Released:	2009/08/07
MPAA:	PG-13
Director:	Nora Ephron
Starring:	Meryl Streep Amy Adams Stanley Tucci Chris Messina

        I like to cook. No, I really like to cook. The more complex the recipe, the more I want to try it, and I don't usually take shortcuts. If a recipe calls for chicken stock, then I make the chicken stock. I have a sourdough culture, which I started from scratch, in my refrigerator. I'm starting an herb garden in the basement. I attempt a vegetable garden in the backyard each year. I think you get the idea.

        My wife occasionally drops the hint, “It's been a while since you made Coq au Vin”, which is true. This week her overall “I want some Coq au Vin, damn it” strategy took an inspired turn when she rented “Julie & Julia”. The movie tells two highly edited stories which it attempts to intertwine; one of Julia Child's path from expatriate housewife to international authority on French cuisine, the other of Julie Powell's year-long attempt to make her way through Child's famous “Mastering The Art of French Cooking” while blogging the results.

        Meryl Streep's performance of Julia Child is easily the highlight of the movie. I remember seeing Julia Child on television when I was young and thinking that there was something odd in her mannerisms. Streep's authentic performance hits home to a new generation how Child's awkwardness was also endearing and how that very awkwardness put her own generation at ease that a subject as intimidating as French cuisine was, in fact, accessible to each and every awkward one of us. Heck, I'm even hoping to get Child's book for Christmas now.

        The intertwined story of Julie Powell, however, came off as indulgent and contrived. As an example, while Julia Child breaks down crying because she and her husband are not able to conceive a child, Julie Powell breaks down because she dropped a stuffed chicken on the floor. Threads started in this second story are forgotten and never followed up. Some examples are when Julie Powell's friends try to convince her that she should add “Pay Pal” to her site for contributions yet the viewer is never shown what becomes of this suggestion, or when, in the middle of her year, her site is ranked by Salon.com as “Third most read” and then no other ranking is ever again mentioned.

        However, the real problem with this movie is that, as usual, Hollywood whipped out it's wizened, chastising Marxist finger to wag in our faces because it thinks we're all evil and need to be punished. The word “Republican” was used so often and in the manner which one would spit, “Degenerate!”, that Julia Child's famous, “Bon Apetite!”, might have easily been replaced with, “Republicans Suck!”. Julia's father is portrayed as a stereotypical angry Republican who vocally disapproves of his daughters' marriages to lefty bohemian types. The McCarthy commission, in an act portrayed as pure political thuggery, investigates Julia's left leaning husband who worked for the OSS and the US Consulate in France and China and who just happened to like to joke that he was a spy. The inconvenient fact that Julia's pen-pal and agent, Avis DeVoto, was married to a man investigated for Communist ties by the Truman administration (way before the McCarthy era) was conveniently omitted. Even Julie Powell's day job boss shows magnanimous understanding of her taking a day off to cook by commenting, “A Republican would have fired you”. All in all, this movie's serving of Ham-fist with half-baked Rhetoric and a side of Bile is a bit too bitter for my tastes.

        Unfortunately, Streep's amazing performance doesn't overpower and save the rest of the movie. Try as you might to hold your nose, “Julie & Julia” is better left dropped on the floor.

Hollywood, STFU Rating:

2.5 Hammer and Sickles